Saturday morning. I woke up at 7:30am since I'd gone to bed early like a grandma on Friday night. CW and I had gone to see He's Just Not That Into You, with 100 of our closest friends, 50% of whom happened to be blonde and wearing too much makeup and too little clothing. There were a lot of white girls in that movie theater. Not that there's anything wrong with being a white girl. My best friends are white girls. I digress...
I sent JT a text to see if he was feeling up for some Kate-love since I was leaving for business at the butt-crack of dawn on Sunday. He'd been sick most of the week. Luckily, I wasn't (yet), despite my lack of willpower and continuing our exchange of bodily fluids. Anyway...
We decided on lunch, and I promised to bring some DVDs and all I would ask is just to be in his presence even if he decided to just lay on the couch all afternoon and veg out and be sicky-poo. So I headed up to Davidson, stopped over at JLO's to say hey. He invited us to play disc golf at 4:30, which was doubtful considering JT's condition. On my way up, I also received a text from JY and EH inviting us to a bon fire and smores. Wow, I was feeling loved.
He was in pj's when I finally arrived at his apartment. There was his pillow and duvet on the couch and a half-finished round of some nameless video game paused on the tv. We snuggled and kissed and despite his fever, he was excited about the prospect of tromping in the woods in Davidson, hucking a disc. And was even up for the bon fire too. So there it was - we would spend the day together.
Lunch was at Panera. We ordered the same thing - frontega chicken. He got a nice text from his boss asking him if he was feeling alright. I laughed when JT crooned, "Aw, he CARES."
There was the impromptu 1 hour browse through World Market's food section. He examined all the international spices, mixes and rubs and we picked out a couple bottles of wine and even some Lindt chocolate spiked with chili powder. Then, there was the trip to Rack Room Shoes so that I could buy a pair of kicks to tromp around in the woods in. I happened to wear my pristine white pants and cute tweed flats - not exactly the ideal outfit for disc golf.
Back at his place, we watched the first half of Secretary all cuddled up on the couch. I love love loved it. I never wanted to leave the cocoon of his embrace.
At 4:00, we made our way to Davidson College, met up with JLO, JC and B to play disc golf. I threw like a girl and JT didn't get his groove until the end of it. He could huck it like the best of them though. At dusk, we wandered back to our cars, appreciative of the beautiful balmy 60 degree Carolina winter evening.
Dinner was at Mac's. We shared the "whole lot of everything" dish, which included beer can chicken, St. Louis style ribs, brisket and Carolina pulled pork. The best were the sides - collards, fries, mac and cheese and the best green bean casserole I'd ever tasted. We ate like it was our last meal.
Afterwards, we went back to JT's place to pick up his truck...and got sidetracked by a massage on his living room floor. We finally made it to E's an hour late. We passed around my guitar. I sang the standards - Linger, some Alanis, Fergie - and E even ripped it up with some blues. The kids were all there, downing some smores and drinking red wine. It was all so perfect. In the car, I confessed I was falling for him.
It became more perfect later that evening. In the throes of it, I couldn't help the sobs, the tears and I held onto him shakily like I was drowning.
Later, I said to him that I loved how his needs were so real, so basic - good sex and good food. Nothing too hard to figure out about that.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
The First Date - JT
Looking back, he honestly looked like a deer in headlights - scared out of his mind. I didn't recognize him at first. He looked like his pictures, but the glasses threw me off. In a good way.
I smiled. He said hello, and I opened my arms and leaned up to him from the tall bar stool I was sitting in. Two thoughts - he's tall and built and he smells good.
"You smell good," I said. He laughed nervously, thanked me.
We moved to a table, so we could face each other and talk. I ordered a burger and fries. "Do I sound like a loser if I copy you?" he asked. I laughed. Great minds think alike.
We downed our Solstice burgers smothered in blue cheese and mushrooms. I got cozy with a couple of Bailey's over ice. We talked about the usual - what I did for a living, what he did for a living, what we really wanted to be doing for a living. He's a hotel GM and I told him about my uncle who spent 40 years in the business.
I remember touching legs and not pulling away.
The day was January 20, 2009 - Inauguration Day of the first Black President of the United States. There was a girl sitting a table away, completed enraptured by the coverage of the Neighborhood Ball. Beyonce sang "At Last", and we watched Michelle and Barack slow dance like there wasn't 50 million people watching them.
Two and a half hours later, at the end of the night, we left Solstice into the cool NoDa evening. I could see my breath. I turned to face him, to say goodbye. I saw that look in his eyes - brimming with intent. He tilted his head just so. His lips were soft, hesistant, but the kiss was pretty and perfect.
And I wondered if he's the one, at last.
I smiled. He said hello, and I opened my arms and leaned up to him from the tall bar stool I was sitting in. Two thoughts - he's tall and built and he smells good.
"You smell good," I said. He laughed nervously, thanked me.
We moved to a table, so we could face each other and talk. I ordered a burger and fries. "Do I sound like a loser if I copy you?" he asked. I laughed. Great minds think alike.
We downed our Solstice burgers smothered in blue cheese and mushrooms. I got cozy with a couple of Bailey's over ice. We talked about the usual - what I did for a living, what he did for a living, what we really wanted to be doing for a living. He's a hotel GM and I told him about my uncle who spent 40 years in the business.
I remember touching legs and not pulling away.
The day was January 20, 2009 - Inauguration Day of the first Black President of the United States. There was a girl sitting a table away, completed enraptured by the coverage of the Neighborhood Ball. Beyonce sang "At Last", and we watched Michelle and Barack slow dance like there wasn't 50 million people watching them.
Two and a half hours later, at the end of the night, we left Solstice into the cool NoDa evening. I could see my breath. I turned to face him, to say goodbye. I saw that look in his eyes - brimming with intent. He tilted his head just so. His lips were soft, hesistant, but the kiss was pretty and perfect.
And I wondered if he's the one, at last.
Monday, January 26, 2009
I can't believe a whole year has gone by...
I am definitely picking his blog back up again because it was so fun!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Friday, October 5, 2007
Boys Suck
There is a negative correlation between how busy I am vs. how much bullshit drama I can take from boys. Seriously. It's annoying. I kind of want them all to go away for a little while.
I've been spending a lot of time with Frat Boy, despite the fact that we had "The Talk" and he reaffirmed the fact that he doesn't want to have a serious relationship. He came over one night last week to tell me that he was "feeling smothered." I explained the whole reason why I was smothering him was that I didn't know where we stood. After our revealing conversation, we both felt better - I ultimately now know where we stand and he was able to express his feelings. Things are good.
This past week, I started on a new money making scheme with Frat Boy. While I'm excited about the possibilities, we've been spending entirely too much time together. Now I'M feeling smothered. Funny how quickly the tables turn. As MC has pointed out - when you mix work with pleasure, you are inevitably together all the time. It's also really convenient for us to see each other since I now live close by. Yay for living near uptown. I've been stressed and tired lately and have really been craving some good quality Kate time. I haven't gotten it and I'm taking it out on him. He's been a trooper about it all. He's been a good friend - making sure that I'm going to the gym and eating well and rubbing my back and taking it like a good boy. So I've vowed that I will spend at least 12 hours by myself to just read, write and decompress.
Last night was weird. Frat Boy called and wanted to go eat at Cabo Fish Taco. We were sitting down to order and he wouldn't stop talking about the waitress. She was beautiful - curvy body, pretty face...and bald as an eagle. She had a shaved head. The stark contrast was definitely striking. Every time she walked by, Frat Boy would make this face, like "ooooh." Augh. That was really annoying. I started talking about this guy I sort of "dated" three years ago - JY. (He doesn't deserve a nickname.) Well, I now live three blocks away from him. Well, just as I was finished telling Frat Boy the story, JY walks in the restaurant. Crazy. I went to say hey, but FB wasn't really interested in meeting him. We just sort of exchanged a few words and then FB and I left. It was just all surreal and crazy.
I've been spending a lot of time with Frat Boy, despite the fact that we had "The Talk" and he reaffirmed the fact that he doesn't want to have a serious relationship. He came over one night last week to tell me that he was "feeling smothered." I explained the whole reason why I was smothering him was that I didn't know where we stood. After our revealing conversation, we both felt better - I ultimately now know where we stand and he was able to express his feelings. Things are good.
This past week, I started on a new money making scheme with Frat Boy. While I'm excited about the possibilities, we've been spending entirely too much time together. Now I'M feeling smothered. Funny how quickly the tables turn. As MC has pointed out - when you mix work with pleasure, you are inevitably together all the time. It's also really convenient for us to see each other since I now live close by. Yay for living near uptown. I've been stressed and tired lately and have really been craving some good quality Kate time. I haven't gotten it and I'm taking it out on him. He's been a trooper about it all. He's been a good friend - making sure that I'm going to the gym and eating well and rubbing my back and taking it like a good boy. So I've vowed that I will spend at least 12 hours by myself to just read, write and decompress.
Last night was weird. Frat Boy called and wanted to go eat at Cabo Fish Taco. We were sitting down to order and he wouldn't stop talking about the waitress. She was beautiful - curvy body, pretty face...and bald as an eagle. She had a shaved head. The stark contrast was definitely striking. Every time she walked by, Frat Boy would make this face, like "ooooh." Augh. That was really annoying. I started talking about this guy I sort of "dated" three years ago - JY. (He doesn't deserve a nickname.) Well, I now live three blocks away from him. Well, just as I was finished telling Frat Boy the story, JY walks in the restaurant. Crazy. I went to say hey, but FB wasn't really interested in meeting him. We just sort of exchanged a few words and then FB and I left. It was just all surreal and crazy.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Limbo
Despite my best efforts, I still don't know. I put the letter in the mail. I KNOW he has it and has read it and processed it. But he hasn't said anything. I can think of three reasons:
1) he really doesn't feel the same way and doesn't want to hurt my feelings so he also doesn't want to talk about it. In short, he's being a wuss.
2) he's focusing on studying for his real estate license exam so he's holding off having the conversation.
3) he's afraid that I won't want to travel to Europe with him anymore if he doesn't express his undying love to me.
Maybe he's just not like me. Maybe he just doesn't FEEL this crazy longing, this wealth of emotion. I sometimes think that if I was still on medication I wouldn't be so crazy about it. It's as if the logical part of my brain has been shut off by pheromones. When we're not together, I'm cool and collected. We get into the same room, and I completely turn into a sniveling mess.
I seriously can't stop smiling and fluttering my eyelashes. The other night he had me in a fit of unending giggles just by being silly. Augh.
The good news is that we still talk everyday. Over email or whatnot. I've been trying to stay out of his hair because of that whole test thing. I'm trying to tell myself - the more time he has to study, the more chance he'll pass it and the more time he'll have to spend with me after he's finally done.
There's men waiting in line to be with me, and I pick the one that doesn't really want me back. Why haven't I learned my lesson?
1) he really doesn't feel the same way and doesn't want to hurt my feelings so he also doesn't want to talk about it. In short, he's being a wuss.
2) he's focusing on studying for his real estate license exam so he's holding off having the conversation.
3) he's afraid that I won't want to travel to Europe with him anymore if he doesn't express his undying love to me.
Maybe he's just not like me. Maybe he just doesn't FEEL this crazy longing, this wealth of emotion. I sometimes think that if I was still on medication I wouldn't be so crazy about it. It's as if the logical part of my brain has been shut off by pheromones. When we're not together, I'm cool and collected. We get into the same room, and I completely turn into a sniveling mess.
I seriously can't stop smiling and fluttering my eyelashes. The other night he had me in a fit of unending giggles just by being silly. Augh.
The good news is that we still talk everyday. Over email or whatnot. I've been trying to stay out of his hair because of that whole test thing. I'm trying to tell myself - the more time he has to study, the more chance he'll pass it and the more time he'll have to spend with me after he's finally done.
There's men waiting in line to be with me, and I pick the one that doesn't really want me back. Why haven't I learned my lesson?
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The Love Letter - with JY's Edits
Cher Frat Boy,
The whole reason why I was upset that you left last night was that I had something to tell you. As you know, I’ve been dating a few boys for a while now. There is/was:
Cigar Afficianado
Lean Cuisine Guy
Pretend Straight Guy
The Tortured Artist
The Indie Rocker Boy
And you…The Frat Boy
Well, I wanted to tell you that I’ve made my choice.He’s beautiful – every inch of the 174 inches of alabaster skin, sea after rain blue eyes and curly blonde hair. He’s my David, my Heathcliff,It’s funny because he makes me angry so much of the time, but for some reason, I’m OK with that. He's my Noah. I love to hear him talk, even if it’s a subject as dull as commercial real estate. It’s his passion, his fire that lights something inside me.
So there it is. On the eve of your birthday, I give you my heart on a big silver platter with a bow on top. I’m a big chicken for not saying it all to your face, but I’ve always been able to communicate so much better on paper.
Now I know we’ve talked about this before. How you don’t want a serious relationship. The last thing I want to do is to make you uncomfortable or put pressure on you. In fact, I’m perfectly happy with the status quo. I don’t want to spend every waking minute together. I like my alone time and my time with the girls. I suppose I just wanted you to know how I feel about you - that out of all the possibilities, YOU are the one that stands out. You’re the one I want to be with. So don’t worry, I don’t want you to be my trophy husband.
Though I’m hoping for the best, I’m expecting the worst. At the very least, I want to stay friends with you. And I hope that my confession won’t ruin that. Because I think we make an amazing team and that would really suck to lose that reciprocity. I think I’m a better person for knowing you, and I hope that you can say that same about me.
So what do you think? Don’t worry about hurting my feelings. My tough exterior protects my sensitive parts, so I can take it. I just want to know how you feel. Like a wise man once said, “Love is not for the feint of heart. You have to risk it all to seize it.”
Happy pre-Birthday, Frat Boy. Don’t be a wussy and tell me how it is.
Avec beaucoup d'amour et d'affection,
Kate
The whole reason why I was upset that you left last night was that I had something to tell you. As you know, I’ve been dating a few boys for a while now. There is/was:
Cigar Afficianado
Lean Cuisine Guy
Pretend Straight Guy
The Tortured Artist
The Indie Rocker Boy
And you…The Frat Boy
Well, I wanted to tell you that I’ve made my choice.
So there it is. On the eve of your birthday, I give you my heart on a big silver platter with a bow on top. I’m a big chicken for not saying it all to your face, but I’ve always been able to communicate so much better on paper.
Now I know we’ve talked about this before. How you don’t want a serious relationship. The last thing I want to do is to make you uncomfortable or put pressure on you. In fact, I’m perfectly happy with the status quo. I don’t want to spend every waking minute together. I like my alone time and my time with the girls. I suppose I just wanted you to know how I feel about you - that out of all the possibilities, YOU are the one that stands out. You’re the one I want to be with. So don’t worry, I don’t want you to be my trophy husband.
Though I’m hoping for the best, I’m expecting the worst. At the very least, I want to stay friends with you. And I hope that my confession won’t ruin that. Because I think we make an amazing team and that would really suck to lose that reciprocity. I think I’m a better person for knowing you, and I hope that you can say that same about me.
So what do you think? Don’t worry about hurting my feelings. My tough exterior protects my sensitive parts, so I can take it. I just want to know how you feel. Like a wise man once said, “Love is not for the feint of heart. You have to risk it all to seize it.”
Happy pre-Birthday, Frat Boy. Don’t be a wussy and tell me how it is.
Avec beaucoup d'amour et d'affection,
Kate
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