Limbo

Despite my best efforts, I still don't know. I put the letter in the mail. I KNOW he has it and has read it and processed it. But he hasn't said anything. I can think of three reasons:

1) he really doesn't feel the same way and doesn't want to hurt my feelings so he also doesn't want to talk about it. In short, he's being a wuss.
2) he's focusing on studying for his real estate license exam so he's holding off having the conversation.
3) he's afraid that I won't want to travel to Europe with him anymore if he doesn't express his undying love to me.

Maybe he's just not like me. Maybe he just doesn't FEEL this crazy longing, this wealth of emotion. I sometimes think that if I was still on medication I wouldn't be so crazy about it. It's as if the logical part of my brain has been shut off by pheromones. When we're not together, I'm cool and collected. We get into the same room, and I completely turn into a sniveling mess.
I seriously can't stop smiling and fluttering my eyelashes. The other night he had me in a fit of unending giggles just by being silly. Augh.

The good news is that we still talk everyday. Over email or whatnot. I've been trying to stay out of his hair because of that whole test thing. I'm trying to tell myself - the more time he has to study, the more chance he'll pass it and the more time he'll have to spend with me after he's finally done.

There's men waiting in line to be with me, and I pick the one that doesn't really want me back. Why haven't I learned my lesson?